Friendship

"I am doing my best and that's always enough"

More often of what any sane person should, we drift into another person orbit.

Let me rephrase this.

I tend to mold to people without even realizing and somehow this time in turned fucking amazing!

YES!

I'm always advised to not give 100% into anything, spare some time for you they say.

Which technically is true but then again how will you love me if I don't show you the pretty and the not so pretty.

How will yourself consider a friendship if you run into the hills if it doesn't go all flowers and rainbows?

What are you expecting?

Of course, all of us will love to avoid confrontations but we don't go in the same clock, each other have their own beliefs and feelings,  we all don't heal the same, we all not give the same importance to matters and that's fine.

So let me ask you this:

When you decide you are done for...

When you say okay I had had enough, but enough of what?

Is this the judgment of black and white, no gray areas allowed?

What are the characteristics you look for, what makes you say, yes! that's the one? 

Imagine my surprise.

Oh fuck, oh shit fuck, no again I'm falling!

When I noticed I was aiming to be better at that moment because of you.

I wanted to be worthy.

I wanted to feel it, that warm feeling of when you have reached home because indeed I created my safe place within you instead of myself.

It was amazing!

It is amazing because at the moment you decided to turn your back on me.

I grew

And don't let me act all I'm so proud, I deserve better (I DO) but at that moment 

You were my better.

Every day gets better.

Every day I connect to myself in the most amazing ways.

Every day I rush further away...

Every day I'm so very thankful that you reached when you weren't even aware that I needed to be saved.

I receive your step out of my life as a blessing and every day you are in my thoughts wishing all the best.

including me.

Because I'm trying my best and that's enough.